Adam Sandler - Teenage Love On The Phone

Performed by adam sandler and allen covert



Richie: so ya doin’ good?

Samantha: ya, I’m fine, how ’bout you?

Richie: how good could I be? I haven’t seen you in three hours.

Samantha: ohhh, richie. hey richie, my dad’s down the hall, and he doesn’t want me on the phone. so if I hang up on you, it’s just because he’s coming.

Richie: ok. so look, uh, do you wanna meet at the spring fling dance thi...

[she hangs up phone]



[phone rings]

Richie: hello?

Samantha: sorry, I thought he was coming.

Richie: that’s ok. so, about the dance. do you wanna meet

Samantha: umm, well my brother gets the car on friday nights.

Richie: well that’s ok, I’ll come by and get you. lets say around...

[she hangs up phone]

Richie: come on..



[phone rings]

Richie: hey.

Samantha: sorry. I guess he was just going to the bathroom.

Richie: that’s ok. well look, uh.. what was I saying? oh yeah, should I pick you up at like seven-thirty or maybe do you wanna go later when the dance is really kickin..

[she hangs up the phone again]

Richie: give me a break...



[phone rings]

Richie: hello.

Samantha: sorry. it was just my dog.

Richie: hey, what’s your dad’s problem anyways!? why can’t we talk?

Samantha: he just thinks I’m on the phone too much. oh my god, uh, I gotta go.

Richie: don’t hang up!

Samantha: richie, I can’t talk!

Richie: no, I’m sick of this! put your dad on the phone! I wanna talk to him.

Samantha: it’s not my dad.

Richie: what? well, who’s there? why can’t you talk?

Samantha: uh, just look richie, someone is here.

Richie: who’s there? is it a guy!?

Samantha: richie!

Richie: I knew it! I’ll kill him! put him on the phone!

Samantha: oh.. it’s just.. hold on.



[hands phone to guy]

Richie: hey man! what the hell are you doing there!? samantha’s my girl!

You’d better stay away from her or I’ll make you wish you were never born!

Buffoon: fuckin’ shit!

Richie: yeah, fuckin’ shit is right buddy! don’t think I’m kidding around, man! I’m crazy! I’ll smash your head in! I swear to god!

Buffoon: one time I saw my grandmother in the shower. her bush starts above her belly button.

Richie: yeah, well that’s too bad! but I’m still gonna come over there and beat your face in!

[richie slams down phone]



Samantha: what happened? was he mad?

Buffoon: my neighbor’s dog has a four inch clit!

Samantha: oh buffoon, you’re the coolest. [whispering] I love you...