Alanis Morissette - This Grudge

Fourteen years


Thirty minutes


Fifteen seconds I've


Held this grudge





Eleven songs


Four full journals


Thoughts of punishment


I've expended





Not in contact


Not a letter


Such communication


Telepathic


You've been vilified


Used as fodder


You deserve a piece


Of every record





But who's it hurting now?


Who's the one that's stuck?


Who's it torturing now


With an antique knot in her stomach?





I want to be big and let go


Of this grudge that's grown old


All this time I've not known


How to rest this bygone


I wanna be soft and resolved


Clean of slate and released


I wanna forgive for the both of us





Like an abandoned house


Dusty covered


Furniture


Still intact


If I visit it now


Will I simply re-live it


Somehow gratuitous





But who's still aching now?


Who's tired of her own voice?


Who is it weighing down


With no gift from time of said healing





I want to be big and let go


Of this grudge that's grown old


All this time I've not known


How to rest this bygone


I wanna be soft and resolved


Clean of slate and released


I wanna forgive for the both of us





Maybe as I cut the cord


Veils will lift from my eyes


Maybe as I lay this to rest


Dead weight off my shoulders will rise





Here I sit


Much determined


Ever ill-equipped


To draw this curtain


How this has entertained


Validated


And has served me well


Ever the victim





But who's done whining now?


Who's ready to put down


This load I've carried longer than I had cared to remember





I want to be big and let go


Of this grudge that's grown old


For the life of me I've not known


How to rest this bygone


I wanna be soft and resolved


Clean of slate and released


I wanna forgive for the both of us.